Merlin Parodies
by Holmes1216
Summary: Basically a funny version of some epic scenes or episodes. T for language. DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything!
1. Chapter 1 Uther Snotface

**Bored...Bored...Bored...Bor-OH! Hi reader of fanfic! Here is my Halloween special 4 you!**

**THE AMAZING JOHN HURT:** In a land of myth and a time of magic-.

MERLIN:Hold on! Magic is banned here so how can it be a time of-

*John uses his golden dragon eyes of epicness to shut up Colin Morgan*

**THE AMAZING JOHN HURT:** In a land of myth and a time of magic the destiny of a great kingdom rested on the shoulders of a young boy? See? Happy?

Cut to Colin walking up the road, that adorable grin plastered with wall paper paste onto his face. Cut to him being clumbsy and generally in awe of the french road...not the amazing castle. Walks to execution

**UTHER:** I Uther Snotface have decreed this man awesomer than me. So DIE BIATCH!" *huge shiny axe comes swinging through the air in ark of awesomeness. Chops off head*

**MERLIN:** Holy crap!

Colin's horrified face is EPIC!

Uther smirks evilly (and you wondered how Morgana got so good!) and blathers on about witches and feasts and general stuff that evil kings blather about

**MERLIN:***Yawns loudly and goes off to find Gaius*

**NAMELESS GUARD:** Hey...The old healer dude is up here

**MERLIN:**Thanks man

Merl wanders up some stairs that soon disappear in the next few episodes. He goes inside and clears his throat. Gaius falls off balcony. Colin uses his awesome eyes of awesomeness to move the bed while Gaius falls in super slow mo. GO COLIN! Gaius gets up and raises an accusing eyebrow (how many has he got?! Accusing eyebrow, suspicious eyebrow, disbelieving eyebrow, concerned eyebrow...the list goes on...) Colin grins sheepishly (one word. Cute.) and Gaius suddenly becomes more scary

**GAIUS:** HOW IN THE NAME OF HARRY POTTERS MOST LUDICROUS Y-FRONTS DID YOU DO THAT?!

Colin looks scared at this point

**MERLIN:**Um...I...I was born with the power?

*Insert the song here*

**GAIUS:** Oh crap. :( Who the hell are you anyway?

**MERLIN:** Hunith's son. Merlin

**GAIUS:** But you weren't meant to be here until Wednesday!

Colin raises a eyebrow (So proud. Colin can do the eyebrow!)

**MERLIN:** It sorta is Wednesday *reminds Gaius that he is an insane and grumpy healer dude*

**GAIUS:** Holy crap.

Cut to next scene

**UTHER AND FLAPPY CLOAK OF FLAPPINESS:** Morgana why aren't you drunk on cake...I mean celebrating?

**MORGANA:** I'm allergic to dairy

**UTHER AND FLAPPY CLOAK OF FLAPPINESS :** So?

**MORGANA:** *rolls eyes* Butter dear father (Gasp! How did she know?) is in the cake. And as for knowing,I watched series four on iTunes.

Damn her.

**PROFESSOR RIVER SONG:** SPOILERS! *Insert sexy wink*

EVERYONE ELSE: What the f***?

**UTHER AND...OH WELL YOU GET THE IDEA:** Oh come on! I'm like your guardian/dad/king/ruler/tyrant so you have to do what I say *stomps his foot*

**MORGANA:** Don't care.

**UTHER AND...NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER:** Its in the script!

What the f*** happened to the fourth wall?

**MORGANA:** Double don't care.

**UTHER AND HATE THIS SCRIPT SET UP:** GOD! Your such a biatch sometimes!

**MORGANA:** It's a talent.

*Uther walks out fuming*

Morgana raises an eyebrow

Bitch. Thats Gaius' thing!

**PART 2 comin soon!**


	2. Chapter 2 Susan

Colin and Bradley (Merlin and Arthur) ride through the forest

**MERLIN:** Whats your horses name?

Weird question

**ARTHUR:** His names' Leon, y'know after the knight?

Ah bromance

**Horse:** *whinnies*

**MERLIN:** No

**ARTHUR:** No what?

**MERLIN:** His names not Leon it's Susan and he want's you to respect his life's choices. *Trots away leaving Bradley looking confused*

I'm so sorry Steven Moffat! *cowers under glare of Steven Moffat. Most awesomest guy in the Whoniverse*

**OLD LADY:** SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!

**ARTHUR:** What the hell was that?

**MERLIN:** A bird.

**OLD LADY:** SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!

**MERLIN:** That? That was an old lady screeeeeeeing.

**ARTHUR:** Well I'm the king so lets go and rescue her! YAY!

**MERLIN AND HIS INSANELY CUTE HORSE:** *sighs at the same time. Looks at each other. Shrugs* Why can't it ever be a bird?

See an old lady being tied to a tree. Gaius pops out from behind a bush and...

**GAIUS:** I DO NOT BELIEVE IT!

Sorry _One Foot In The Grave_ fans. Sorry writer of _One Foot In The Grave_. *sad and regretful face*

**ARTHUR AND HIS BIG SHINY SWORD:** Well, you kinda have to cos' it's in the script!

Fourth wall? Where are you?

**GAIUS:** Oh. Yeah. BYE!

What. The. Hell.

**MERLIN:** What the heck happened to the fourth wall? God.

**ARTHUR:** *shrugs goes charging into battle with a lamp post which was forgotten by the props team*

**HORSE:** *shrugs an starts to play poker with Merlin.*

**HORSE 2:** That's all folks!

_**Ok random. Oh well, it keeps us happy in a cold cold world. Literally it's November.**_


	3. Chapter 3 DRAGOON The great!

**_Hi guys! Me again. Ya know the girl who wrote a few stories and never updated them?_**

**_Well I'm BACK!_**

**_Hope ya like this one. Thanks to all who reveiwed me!_**

**MERLIN:** HI!

**UTHER:** Have you some mental affliction?

**MERLIN:** Probably!

**UTHER:** Can someone please explain what happened  
*Merlin comes forward*

**MERLIN:** Well-

**UTHER:** Someone with a brain?

**MERLIN:** *huffs and looks very put out* Meanie!

**DRAGOON:** I have heard how you...erm *desperatly searches for a fault in Arthur*...MISTREAT YOUR SERVANTS!  
Yes, they do everything for you and do they every get any thanks? NO! You're a spoiled arrogant brat with the face of a donkey and the face *cough cough* Of a toad!

**Arthur:** WTF?

**GAIUS:** Oh brother...

**ARTHUR:** Anything else?

**DRAGOON:** Yes one more thing. YOU PRAT!

**ARTHUR:** WTF?

**GAIUS:** WTF?

**EVERYONE ELSE IN THE VICINITY:** WTF?

**ME:** YAY!

**DRAGOON:** Okay, I'm done now!

**ARTHUR:** Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run you through right now?

**DRAGOON:** Erm...*Sticks a knarled hand into the air* LIGHT BULB *style of Gru from _Despicable Me_*

**ARTHUR:** What?

**DRAGOON:** I wouldn't do that if I were you! Then you would never learn of my plan!

**ARTHUR:** What plan?

**D****RAGOON:** EXACTLY! That's why you can't run me through *smug smile*

**ARTHUR:** F*** you!

**DRAGOON:** Charming...

**_YAY! All done! CHAP 2 comin' soon!_ **


	4. Chapter 4 What shall I pack?

**Merlin:** Bored...Bored Bored!

**Arthur:** *is trying hard not to fall asleep*

**Uther:** Alright you can go find the fisher king's trident...

**Merlin:** *slides out of hall on knees* FREEDOM!

**Arthur:** Don't be such a_ girl_ Merlin

**Merlin:** Grumble grumble grumble

**Arthur:** Well, we'd better get going...

**Merlin:** I need to pack. Where are we going?

**Arthur:** Can't tell you

**Merlin:** Please?

**Arthur:** Shan't

**Merlin:** I don't know what to pack. Will it be hot, will it be cold? Will it be wet, will it be dry?

**Arthur:** I really can't tell you

**Merlin:** If you did I suppose you'd have to kill me! *joking*

**Arthur:** Imediatly and without hesitation *completely serious*

**Merlin:** *gulp* Great...suprise then...who doesn't love a good suprise...

**Merlin's face:** *I need new pants!*


End file.
